Folks,
Currently Whiskey and I are stationed at some random McDonalds parking lot siphoning WiFi from a Super 8 motel in order to get another post up. Out apologies for the not-so-daily posts. The place we were staying didn’t have wireless access and required us to buy an ethernet cable…right. So we’re going to add the posts from the past few days over the umm next few days ha. Needless to say we are returning triumphant and it was certainly a blog worthy weekend. Well onward to the second day!
***DAY 2***
6:00am: Wake up
6:09am: Actually wake up
6:30-7:35am: Shower, dust off dress clothes, realize we have no umbrella to combat the rain. We’re fucked
7:45am: Drive to conference building, park, walk through rain. Soaked. Looking like conference rookies as we’re the first people to check in. Helper girls laugh at us -on the inside.
8:00am: Come back to the room officially checked in. Change clothes for the epic search for the Newark Airport and our colleague Meredith. Leave the dress clothes out to dry.
8:32-8:56am: Stop at truck stop on the way to the airport in a vain attempt to find umbrellas, an ATM, food, coffee, and any reason why New Jersey should be a part of the union. Settle for McDonalds food instead. The breakfast of champions.
9:26am: Wine freaking out and swearing at Jersey traffic while Whiskey wonders what serves as distinctly Jersey food, “Something like a cannoli I bet. I hope they serve cannolis at snack time. I’m going to tear their ass up if they do.”
9:35am: The nickname “Garden State” deemed misleading. Also marks the beginning of blaming all misfortune on the state of New Jersey.
9:41am: Arrive at Newark Airport somehow.
10:21am: Waiting on Meredith to arrive, Wine is anxious. Whiskey offers Wine a hug.
10:22am: Whiskey compares Jersey/Newark airport to Man vs. Wild. In a moment of smug wisdom, Whiskey tells Wine to stay content with mediocre situations to avoid potentially worse outcomes. Wine scoffs.
10:25am: Whiskey abandons previous passive stance as we realize Meredith may have given us her arrival time based on CST. Wine attempts to hide himself in the car from the gathering Jersey Devils as Whiskey dives into the belly of the beast to successful extract Meredith and her belongings.
10:47am: Successful retrieval. Begin another odyssey back to Montclair.
11:24am: Wine sings bass note. Meredith, “Wow that’s low.” Whiskey, “That’s how I feel.”
12:00pm: Begin freaking out and partial blackout due to presentation stress.
4:00pm: Presentation done. People applauded, we were lauded, and our neck ties were loosened.
4:15pm: Free coffee and cookies are consumed in post-presentation jubilee! At this time, the conference OFFICIALLY begins. Wait, what the…?
8:00 pm: head over to local watering hole, “Treirwey’s Tavern.” Cash only. Whiskey has Guiness followed by Hendricks and tonic. Wine opts for Yuengling and then, ironically, a whiskey and coke. Shit’s going down…
9:19 pm: Realize bar we are in has a video game dedicated to cornhole! No shit! Even stranger, the name of the game is borrowed from the Chicago/Milwaukee variation of the name: “Bags.” Ewww…
9:46 pm: Whiskey: “Well would you look at those balls!”
10:05 pm: Meredith is mildly-moderately intoxicated. She thinks that calling our professor looking for alcohol is a good idea. He did not answer her call. Thankfully.
10:07 pm: Whiskey learns that Wine’s mother reads this blog. Whiskey slaps his forehead.
10:08 pm: After leaving the bar, we go to a grocery store in search of beer or liquor to take back to the room. Grocery stores in Jersey do not carry alcohol, we learn. Liquor stores in Jersey close at 10pm. Begin to ponder if we, as a collective group, have run out of luck.
10:16 pm: We stop at a Quick Chek store to inquire about alcohol. Whiskey, clearly frustrated, makes the most of the situation, by quietly singing “Quick Chek Girl” by Jersey’s The Bouncing Souls. No booze, no dice.
10:18 pm: Go next door, back to Treirwey’s Tavern. We purchase a 6-pack of Bud Light off the bartender for $7.
10:30 pm: exhausted from the day and the epic search for alcohol, we return to out room and quietly sip the beer until bedtime.
-Whiskey and Wine
